Categories
fiction short story

The Sweepstakes


Clean it up , buttercup

I’m an angry cleaner and I always have been. My great grandmother knew it before I did. She said that if you married a woman who cleaned when she was angry then you better not give her a real serious reason to be angry, because she wouldn’t leave any evidence and she’d be ready for visitors – to pay their respect during the mourning period.

Then she cackled and told me my great grandpa had gotten the nurse pregnant and wanted her to raise the baby . She also told me how sorry she was that I had cancer and congratulated me on my marriage to Bob Barker from the game show , “ The Price is Right”.

The only thing she was right about was the cleaning when angry part . 

This was a lot to take in when you were 12 years old but I really wanted to see how I fast I could clean my room during a temper tantrum. Maybe I could set a record or something.

The front porch was swept up in a flash and the spotless floor had no idea how much I wanted to do it again .

Categories
Lifestyle

Friday Fictioneers 4/12/19


Photo prompt @ Roger Bultot

”And that’s the house I grew up in. ”

“That’s Grandma’s house? No way .”

“Yes. I spent many happy minutes on the porch with Grandma watching the inquisition from here . What memories…”

“Well , it’s time to get back to our world . You remember where you drew the portal , don’t you?”

The woman with the long blonde hair was jolted out of her reverie by the loud sound of hoofs shaking the grounds around you them. The Holy Roman Empire!

The little girl was dancing around pretending to be a fairy . “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Horsies! ”

“Gwyneth , what have you done ? ”

Join the fun!

Friday fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here.

Categories
Lifestyle

Ad-VANTAGE


The instructions were clear and convincing her to accept the job was easy, except for the last sentence of the contract. Jump. She wondered what that meant. She swallowed her fear when the elevator stopped with a shuddering groan. They were suspended between floors with a gaping hole in the middle. The only way to get out was to… and eyeing the distance between her and her family, she silently finished the last part of the sentence.

Categories
fiction humor

Marie Antoinette’s Foibles a la Versailles: Introduction to Court


Next week…. I was informed that I cannot go into Paris yet . But I’m not allowed to complain, as it’s an honor to be introduced to the city and given the key by the Parisian Mayor himself. Whatever!

Previously on Real Housewives of Versailles, the newly minted Dauphine of France, Marie Antoinette, was making waves by throwing some serious shade at one lady who wasn’t putting up with that nonsense.

Last we heard, our little Austrian was about to make her mama proud by speaking to Madame Dubarry, the king’s mistress and most powerful woman in court. The whole court is betting it’s as dramatic as the events leading up to this unprecedented event. Gossip mongers hint that the French Dauphine had to be strongly encouraged to acknowledge King Louis XIV’s mistress. This is unheard of, making it very clear that Madame DuBarry rules at Versailles. What words will our beloved blunderbuss Marie A. bestow upon the favorite of the king?

 We don’t have to wait long for the “Made to Shop ” future queen of France, to toss the tea at her much older frenemy, the much more experienced and linguistically talented Madame Dubarry.

The court is live streaming from the Hall of Mirrors. Let’s catch up on the drama unfolding as we speak.

@versailles99…The Dauphine said hello or something like that and now everyone’s favorite cake loving Austrian, Maria Josepha Antonia or Marie Antoinette to the Frenchies is soo done by the look on her face. She’s not even trying to hide her distaste. But look at her fab hair! It has to be at least 3 feet high! What a great hairpiece! Is that a real bird in there?

I think I said something stupid like “wow, look at all the people here today! That woman looked at me like she was disappointed. I guess she was expecting a little more than that. ”

-Marie Antoinette, Dauphine and Future Queen and Daughter of the Holy Roman Empire itself 

@MsMarieAntoinette92…I’m glad I didn’t know that she was really expecting us to be friends now or maybe I would have been like I’m sorry. but you can’t sit with us. Like ever.”

@MsMarieAntoinette92…I can say that, amirite? I’m going to be a Queen, oui?

@mamatherese98 … I see that you are learning about etiquette and how to make friends at court even when you hate them! Look how well it’s worked for me.

@MadameDBarry: That’s right! Recognize the favorite of the king. That little twit can go back to Australia. Or Austria. Or Even better, Antartica.

Two gorgeous woman in bedroom Versailles and Baroque vintage style, ladies laying at beautiful and luxurious interior. Concept of rest and relax in luxury hotel

@secretlivesofversailles89… finally, we learned that the court is indeed crowded but what did I wear? What did she wear? What was on her head? Is that a bird? That silly Austrian is so fashionable! Not.
@MsMarieAntoinette92… you think we could get on with more pressing news like that headpiece I wore reaching 3 foot and housing a live bird inside! I’m sure I will be starting a trend with that!

@versailles99…So now that we know what to expect in the French court regarding the feud of the woman who acts like a Queen but is not feeling the love from the newcomer … a little foreigner who has bad hair and a stupid laugh. I heard that Marie Antoinette has been to the king himself crying over his displeasure and that he was considering breaking the alliance with Austria but needs the money. I’m told that he has never liked to confront problems but chooses to be charming while insisting that his orders will be obeyed.

A far cry from Mother Austria  aka Marie Therese who is known for a more hardcore approach to ruling and doesn’t believe in mincing words. Am I right in the assumption that this one disastrous alliance? The marriage of the two polar opposites can only mean one thing -that the British are laughing instead of crying in their tea right now.

Until next week, auvoir! I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of this dignified catfight …

Categories
fiction Lifestyle

A Feather in My Hand


The Feather

I’m racing through the trees.

Normally, I would be worried about being so late. Tonight I’m not. Because I have a secret and it’s going to save me.

I know the others are looking for something to hang me from. I could say I know because I’m a witch but I actually overheard them.

I slow down at the approach to the cave but then I suddenly stop. Dead quiet and the air is thick with smoke. I turn around and run the other way, clutching the feather in my cold hand.