King Henry the Eighth has become the victim of yet another Tinder date gone wrong .
“His sperm is dead, infection in leg has made him crazy in the head and Anne isn’t the first Bolyen he’s spread…”
– some wench not named Mary
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Next week…. I was informed that I cannot go into Paris yet . But I’m not allowed to complain, as it’s an honor to be introduced to the city and given the key by the Parisian Mayor himself. Whatever!
Previously on Real Housewives of Versailles, the newly minted Dauphine of France, Marie Antoinette, was making waves by throwing some serious shade at one lady who wasn’t putting up with that nonsense.
Last we heard, our little Austrian was about to make her mama proud by speaking to Madame Dubarry, the king’s mistress and most powerful woman in court. The whole court is betting it’s as dramatic as the events leading up to this unprecedented event. Gossip mongers hint that the French Dauphine had to be strongly encouraged to acknowledge King Louis XIV’s mistress. This is unheard of, making it very clear that Madame DuBarry rules at Versailles. What words will our beloved blunderbuss Marie A. bestow upon the favorite of the king?
We don’t have to wait long for the “Made to Shop ” future queen of France, to toss the tea at her much older frenemy, the much more experienced and linguistically talented Madame Dubarry.
The court is live streaming from the Hall of Mirrors. Let’s catch up on the drama unfolding as we speak.
@versailles99…The Dauphine said hello or something like that and now everyone’s favorite cake loving Austrian, Maria Josepha Antonia or Marie Antoinette to the Frenchies is soo done by the look on her face. She’s not even trying to hide her distaste. But look at her fab hair! It has to be at least 3 feet high! What a great hairpiece! Is that a real bird in there?
“I think I said something stupid like “wow, look at all the people here today! That woman looked at me like she was disappointed. I guess she was expecting a little more than that. ”
-Marie Antoinette, Dauphine and Future Queen and Daughter of the Holy Roman Empire itself
@MsMarieAntoinette92…I’m glad I didn’t know that she was really expecting us to be friends now or maybe I would have been like I’m sorry. but you can’t sit with us. Like ever.”
@MsMarieAntoinette92…I can say that, amirite? I’m going to be a Queen, oui?
@mamatherese98 … I see that you are learning about etiquette and how to make friends at court even when you hate them! Look how well it’s worked for me.
@MadameDBarry: That’s right! Recognize the favorite of the king. That little twit can go back to Australia. Or Austria. Or Even better, Antartica.
@versailles99…So now that we know what to expect in the French court regarding the feud of the woman who acts like a Queen but is not feeling the love from the newcomer … a little foreigner who has bad hair and a stupid laugh. I heard that Marie Antoinette has been to the king himself crying over his displeasure and that he was considering breaking the alliance with Austria but needs the money. I’m told that he has never liked to confront problems but chooses to be charming while insisting that his orders will be obeyed.
A far cry from Mother Austria aka Marie Therese who is known for a more hardcore approach to ruling and doesn’t believe in mincing words. Am I right in the assumption that this one disastrous alliance? The marriage of the two polar opposites can only mean one thing -that the British are laughing instead of crying in their tea right now.
Until next week, auvoir! I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of this dignified catfight …
