Categories
entertainment

The Daily Whine


Celebrities , you gotta love them . So what is everyone crying about when Elon Musk and his GF Grimes decide to change their newborn’s name again. ? It took an Elongated 3 tries to say Ash or Kyle or Pokémon ..or whatever. I’ll call it a sweet baby potato because I still can’t pronounce it .

Categories
entertainment humor Lifestyle

The Daily Whine


Just got on social media to see what I’d missed and I just want to say two things : wasn’t the Spacex/NASA launch amazing and Carol Baskin killed her husband.

Categories
poetry

Next summer


The water pools under her dirty feet
Dark and clay-like they sink further into the murky deep
“Stick to me like glue , “she thinks
There’s always next summer to get you clean
The water swirls in her dirty sink
I’ve been washing these hands for years it seems
The cracks are trials of yet another week
But there’s always next summer to get you clean
The water ebbs at her bended knees
I’ve been waiting on them for decades in silent plea
So stiff and weary from years of no belief
There’s always next summer to get you clean
The water flows in the swollen creek
No boulders trapping it’s fast release
Just the sharp, jagged edges of it’s furious relief
And there is always next summer to get you clean
Categories
Lifestyle

Restless


Early on I didn’t believe
I couldn’t see
Just let the waves carry me


Before the fog rolled in
But after the frost
I let my sight out to seek


Searching upwards for the key
And there were none
Just black night I see


You had not surfaced
And I thought you slept
Do I have any plans for the week?


You liked to plan for your eternity
I have to have my sleep
I have to say that you can keep


My dangerous, carelessly gorgeous
love for you
declared on now stained diary sheets


pen and ink bled for all to see
That my life is weak
Was weak


But it’s me
who has non patiently waited
I like to plan for my eternity


Look up at the night
before you leave
And I’ll see you in the tear blotted ink

Categories
Lifestyle

Basic AF Writer’s Block


It happens to everyone. You hit a dead end on your already struggling road to writing martyrdom. There is no cure and there is no way through the concrete wall of no-words-ville . You have to suffer through it or sandblast your way out . How do you do that ? You force yourself to write crap. Remembering Rome wasnt built in a day and your novel obviously wasn’t built in a pandemic either . So lets get on to the bilious tripe you are going to spew in the name of getting you through the slump of dead thoughts. Or you can do what I’ve been doing to make it through this sad trial in life .

  • Make theme songs for the events in your everyday life
  • Reimagine the lyrics of a well known song to fit a certain event or person
  • Have golf practice in your living room
  • Try to come up with a weirder name than the baby of Elon Musk and Grimes
  • Work the equation for the above mentioned name
  • Practice the Carol Baskin dance
  • Make your dog look like Carol Baskin

Well that is all I’ve got for you today but I’ll be back tomorrow with more rules and pointers on living with the plague.

Categories
entertainment fiction humor Lifestyle

April 24,2020


Friday Fictioneers

http://rochellewisoff.com/2020/04/22/24-april-2020/

Categories
fiction short story

Dark Corner Road


… and that is how Dark Corner Road got its name.

The brunette sitting cross-legged in the middle of the group paused for dramatic effect at the end of the story before she added …..” You girls up for a road trip? “Or are all of you too scared, “the girl laughed and threw her perfect hair back, theatrically running her hand across her throat in a cutting motion.

The blonde one named Neely sat directly in front of the fireplace stonily said “I’m sure that is a true story alright -just like its true that Kalina is really a virgin, and we all know the likelihood of that.” The other girls burst out laughing but it was nervous laughter. Alone in a cabin for a night with a ghost lady roaming the wilderness ? It seemed a bit too much for a sorority pledge they all thought, but wouldn’t dare say.

“That’s not how it got its name anyway.”

The girls stopped bickering long enough to look up. The girl who spoke looked back down. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter.”

Jillian snorted “oh really, well, how do you know? Did your psychic tell you or maybe the ghost of your dead relatives who gave you the 411 on whose haunting who, where and why. I forgot you are the real expert. Do tell. “

“Jillian, stop being a bitch and tell the rest of the story. What happened to the children that saw the lady in white? Did they know she was a ghost? You know what I’m talking about -you left the important stuff out and I think we all know why. You are the one that’s scared. Loser,” Kalina mouthed with a letter L on her forehead. Jillian paused for a minute longer and sighed.

“Scared of what? The lady in white who knocks on the doors of the poor and unsuspecting campers staying in remote cabins looking for her lover ? Her lover who killed her family and then her before disappearing ? Now she wanders the countryside dressed in the white gown they buried her in, seeking revenge, so she can rest in peace and until she finds the man who framed her, who forced her to confess in that cryptic letter – a letter that mysteriously survived the horrible fire that destroyed her family’s ranch and the family who were trapped inside.-she never will. Legend has it that If she knocks on your door and you answer, your death will be painless. If you ignore her, then you and whoever else refuses to hear her pleas, will all disappear leaving no trace of your existence -only a letter confessing to the murders of the people she killed before you — signed in your name, by you. Then you spend eternity searching for the real killer before your soul can rest in peace.

      “Is that better? What do you think of that version ?” Jillian scoffed.

“Bitch! That’s not funny ! Especially with what has happened to Kalina’s aunt and her kids !”

Jillian got quiet for a moment then softly said “I’m sorry Kalina, that was out of line. I know it’s not easy listening to the crazy rumors going around town if It makes it any better, no one who’s anyone believes them.”

“Thanks, Jillian, I appreciate you saying that. Even if it’s a lie. Now finish the story !”

” So where were we? The lady in white wasn’t alive alright, but she wasn’t dead either. “

” What was she then ? C’mon Jillian, I’m getting too drunk to function much longer so let’s hear it.”

Jillan paused for a minute longer and sighed. With a pained expression on her face she said in her snarky tone “where were we ? Oh yes, the lady in white wasn’t alive, but she wasn’t dead either but who said anything about her being a ghost ? Oh she was FAR from human but a ghost she was not.

“What was she ? A vampire ?”

“I want to suck your blood Kalina or …”

Kalina shuddered and let out a gasp. “ A vampire ? And she made little vampires out of the children and now they roam the countryside like the cute precious adorable children that they are, lost and trying to find their home ….when you take them in, what happens but suddenly you are seized -when the others come, they all attack you at once. A feeding frenzy of pint sized bloodsuckers.”

The” two other girls who remained silent just stared in horror at Kalina’s add-on to the story but Jillian burst out laughing instead.” No dumb ass ! Nice try but no vampires here either but you really have a knack for freaking people the fuck out with your bullshit. At least this time it’s not your clothes that are reek.”

Neely hastily stood up, knocking the end table between her and Jillian over in the process. Her eyes flashed angrily. “You are such a cunt ! Why don’t you either shut the fuck up or tell the rest of the story ! Without being a horrid twat to whoever talks to you.”

Jillian, too stunned to speak, fell silent then skid ‘K so one night As the sound of the church bells rang 12 times the children had gathered together, and then they went to the ship hovering over the town.”

“That ending was lame as shit !”

“You know what else is lame as shit ? Your pants Neely, your whole outfit screams what da fuck ?”

Dead silence followed her unusual outburst then the loud distinct sound of shattered glass. A window to be exact. Rushing in was the cold north air that accompanies winter weather in the upper peninsula. The girls’ teeth all seemed to chatter in unison as the howl of the wind grew louder and louder until just as quickly as it started, it stopped. Dead calm again.

The chime of the doorbell startled them once again but no one mad a move to even look to see who it was.

BAM! BAM ! BAM ! Now someone was banging on the door, then on the frosted glass.

And again no one spoke at the knock on the door, they all just jumped and huddled together, shaking as a group.

After a few minutes, Kalina whispered “Jillian ! Did the children find you ? Should we let them take you to their leader ?”

Neely rose as if to answer the door when a horrified Jillian intercepted her .”You know that’s a story right ? Just a story. I made it up as I told it. Stop being ridiculous because it isn’t even real.” And that’s when the last candle blew out and with it, the existence of the four girls from Waverley Hall. They were never seen again.”

The tall lanky brunette bowed her head solemnly as if to cue the lights on slowly to reveal that she was the only one remaining. The applause was instant and enthusiastic. Still blushing, Sabrina left the stage and ran backstage to the other performers who were chattering excitedly and congratulating themselves.

““Very good, ladies. Nicely done. I think our audience enjoyed the escape from our dismal reality here in Basswood townfolk even if the escape was in the form of a macabre story of missing girls… Girls your age,” he bald headmaster shuddered before clasping his hands ..

The girls hurriedly rushed back to their seats in the designated section.

“Let us pray.”

Sabrina groaned at the words but dutifully shrank to her knees with the others in her pew.

“Our father who art in heaven Hallowed be thy name …

Then a loud echoing voice hissed kingdom come, will be done,”, causing Sabrina’s eyes to flash open at the familiar voice.“”Blake, what the fuck are you doing here ? You are supposed to be in rehab””

“Had to see you one last time. You shouldn’t have gotten all dolled up for little old me he added but I’m not sure that tight skirt is very godly. I should say looking at you in it doesn’t make me feel very godly.”

Sabrina felt her cheeks go hot but ignored his comment and  took her seat as the prayer ended. Blake slid in next to her like the snake he was, she thought. She tried not to show her disgust as he draped his arm possessively over her shoulder and pulled her even closer to him. Wincing, she angrily whispered in protest what the fuck Blake.“

As the assembly ended and the students started pouring out of the auditorium, Blake guided Sabrina toward the open doors.. Just walk and look normal. .things have changed a bit.”. Sabrina mutely agreed because the cold hard metal of a gun pressing into the small of her back made it hard to do otherwise.

“Just so you know, I fucking hate you,”, he said with a smile.

      Blake led her through the parking lot to a Mercedes Maybach S650 Cabriolet parked obnoxiously in the ‘take up three spaces “kind of way .. Way to hide in plain sight, Blake. . You never disappoint, do you ? Except in bed Sabrina coldly added. “If I remember anything about you at all, I remember- that -you couldn’t- get- it -up most of the time. “

Blake opened the car door and pushed her inside “Must have been something you did or didn’t do, darling dear. None of my other lovers have had that complaint. Including your mother.”

“You bastard,” she spat angrily as Blake climbed in the driver’s seat.

“Shush, kitten. Calm down and read this. We are running out of time.’ lake sighed.” “I should say , you are running out of time and thrust a piece of paper into her lap. “Now be a good girl and read it aloud then tell me what you think.”

Sabrina glared at him and grabbed the note.” Fine. Looking at the envelope , she laughed as she said ” Some kind of joke , Blake ? Is that what this is ?”

     TO whomever the unlucky bastard is that finds this .

“Just read the fucking letter Sabrina ,”Blake ordered.

It never occurred to me that I might get my wish of never growing old. Never crossed my mind that it  might be an untimely mistake that caused me to die young. That a fluke , wrinkle in the fabric of fate could be the catalyst that took my life and those of the people I loved the most. It never occurred to me that I might not get a choice in the matter  because someone else would make it for me. I wish it didn’t have to be this way but someone had to do it. I guess that person has to be me.

 Sabrina 

 Sabrina paused for a minute then flatly stated. “ A little bit dramatic, even for you.”

“Pretty good, hmm ? I thought you’d like it. That’ll leave them guessing. Now before you start with the acclamation  of “Oh Blake, you are so clever, he mocked, we have to work out some details. What date do you want to put, Sabrina ? “

Sabrina looked confused at the question at first but when Blake’s sarcastic laugh didn’t follow, the look turned to concern 

“Date ? For what ?”

“Well my darling dear, I thought you’d never ask. A date of huge significance of course. Can you guess ? The date Sabrina Lecuere dies.“

6 years later...

“ And that’s how Dark Corner Road got its name.

“Bullshit Clary. I call bullshit. You made that story up,“the girl named Lara laughed throwing her pillow at her.

A loud knock at the door startled the two girls who looked at each other nervously.

“Did you invite anyone ?”

“No, did you ?” 

“Clary, I hope you put the blood of the seventh virgin on the doorpost so the lady in white will pass us by, ‘ a voice said jokingly from the kitchen.

W1hen no one answered, she called back “ I was only kidding. Chill the fuck out. Losers !”

Still, no sound but the wind rushing through the open windows blowing the cold north wind through the house and rattling the door frame. 

‘‘Jesus Christ, Lily said to herself. It’s just the wind. Don’t be a pussy and go look for yourself.’’

Lily entered the living room. The empty living room. 

To this day, no trace of her  or her friends was ever found in the house or the surrounding woods. In fact, no trace of them was ever found anywhere at all. Only a cryptic letter remained in an otherwise  burned out house.

 The End