Friday Fictioneers : Railroaded


Photo Credit ©Dawn M. Miller

7 December 2018

”Hey, aren’t you…”

The lady in 1B was a dead ringer for an actress in a movie he had just seen. The blonde smiled then shrugged her shoulders.

“I know you probably get this all the time but you look just like her! The way you played the rich lady who offed her old man and…”

…” escaped on a train? You’re right, I do get that often, ” the lady finished for him. And smiling, she held his gaze as the last bubbles disappeared with the river’s current.

“Mr. John Smith? Please come with us. You’re under arrest for the murder … ”


The Daily Whine

Adult Life Definitions

Adulting : The excitement from buying an Instapot on Aisle 8 in Home Goods instead of Home-Boy who lives in an alley.

fiction humor Lifestyle

Opera Night

Dear Caroline,

I was informed that I cannot go into Paris yet . But I’m not allowed to complain, As its an honor to be iroduced to the city and given the key by the Parisian Mayor himself. It’s not etiquette to make a trip to Paris before you have been properly introduced to the city . How is that not ridiculously petty and unnecsesarily french  I have to pretend to be overjoyed that the city has welcomed me ? That is no problem, look how I faked nice to Madame whats her face ,  the scandal making adulterous mistress of my french father , grandfather or whatever he is !

I’m going to have a migraine with the list of things I cannot do though I was almost Queen ! how will i survive this boring and preoccupiued country i am now a part of .

….But I’m not feeling it right now , how I A secret trip to Paris

“Has God forgotten everything I’ve done for him ?” ~ Louis XV

”We should not let grass grow on the path of friendship.” ~ Marie Therese Rodet Geoffrin

”I wasn’t raised, I was built.” ~ Marie Antoinette


Previously on My Fabulous Teenage Life As Archduchess of Austria, I received the news that I am betrothed to the grandson of Louis XV, whose court at Versailles is said to be the most wicked court in the world. So, like every other girl who is moving away from home to get married, I sign away my revered and prominent bloodline in the name of the monarchy, get hitched to a pimply and shy stranger the very next day and lose part of my soul. Now, I am French, with no dog, and bored to tears. I miss my mother, my best friend and sister Caroline and I have to speak to people I don’t like. Now you tell me, is this what I signed up for?

I was informed that I cannot go into Paris yet . But I’m not allowed to complain, As its an honor to be iroduced to the city and given the key by the Parisian Mayor himself. It’s not etiquette to make a trip to Paris before you have been properly introduced to the city . How is that not ridiculously petty and unnecsesarily french  .

Every day is the same. I spend hours getting dressed. I mean hours . Bathing is the most tedious and annoying waste of time when I have a full day looking pretty and good in front of me. Let me know if I’m being a little t

oo critical. You can just imagine what I endure . I’m sitting in a bathtub and I’m literally freezing my lips off , turning blue and losing fingertips, I’m not exaggerating here . There are a bunch of women that help me with bathing because I can’t do this myself . I love that they are so good and sweet to me but this is the most hilarious game . Madame 1 is about to hand my chemise to madam 2 who will then hand to Madame 3 .Except that then an unknown madam enters the room and they all stop . Because Madam X who just arrived is higher ranking it is her right and they have to defer to the highest rank in the room. So I’m just trying to stay alive because it’s so cold and could they hurry up and get my chemise to the most nobile lady in attendance so I can get dressed?

Now I am ready to get my hair and makeup on. This takes another hour or so. Here comes Monsieur Leonard and the most fun part of the day. Since I have the most extraordinary and crearive hairstylist in the world, I don’t get bored .Yes, it’s true that I have been a little lofty in my hairstyles but this is France and if I don’t set the tone for fashion who will ? Madame DuBarry and her friends are making fun of me for wearing a hairpiece of 3 foot with a birdcage inside . A live bird or two completely topped that one off . I looked adorable but it was a bit heavy . Oh well , beauty isn’t easy and it hurts . So if I have bird poop in my ear and a feather poking my brain , fashion is fun . Viva La France! I love this country!

Finally, I’m dressed up like the most beautiful woman in the works which is what Papa Roi ( my nickname for the King) calls me. So ,why am I sad? I want to visit Paris and I can’t . Paris is the capitol and the people hate the king. It is said that Versailles is built as far aaway from Paris so the King isn’t reminded that he is the most hated man to his face and he does not care to be unloved . I understand but I’m new in town and I’m bored to tears . I want a croissant . I want to go to the opera . I want Caroline and Mops . I want my Mama ….

I am sure that Paris will love me. I will love them so that they have to.
Mesdames Tantes whispers to me that he will be jealous if I am embraced by his subjects there. I am longing to dance at the opera as the opera house is .. extremely beautiful and glorious. The most opulent in the world! The most beautiful place on Earth! Second to Versailles ,of course. Of course nothing can compare to it. I suppose that’s why a huge wall is around it , to protect the king from his haters because Im learning he has a few enemies. His subjects are angry and they have been rioting. Something about them not having food. At least I think it’s about flour. Like last years crops failed but the weather is not the king’s fault. He isnt the god of flour after all , he isn’t a king of  crop, he’s the king of France. Even I know that.

But I’m 16 and I am still ignorant of affairs . I am not French, the aunts remind me. I do not understand the political affairs of this country that I have inherited. My mother is constantly reminding me as well that I have been entrusted to a tumultuous undertaking. I must be prudent and use sound judgment.

I guess it is supposed that the extravagance of this court is the reason that the people are hungry. Versailles is so removed from the dirty and crowded capital city that I do not see these hungry commoners. It is of no concern to me because I want a new hairpiece and dress fot the ball nect week. That is good for the commoners- to be employed and at Versailles , we employ many. Why do the people hate him so ? He is so jolly and kind. I adore my Papa Roi – haters gonna hate, I hear.

My brother in law, the Comte de Artois suggests that we go to Paris. I squeal with joy but Papa Roi has not given permission. Artois isn’t concerned . He has another idea! We will go igcognito and none will know we were there. A masquerade ! How fun!  I am happier than I was this morning when I heard that the people believe the gossip that I can’t get pregnant because of my lavish lifestyle of dancing and gambling.

I am not to mention a word of the plan to visit Paris. I promise to be the voice of discretion. But why, I ask Artois and he says that we are not going to ask permission to go. Incognito and in disguise we will be! I am to go to the capital! The plan is put into place and I am sure that it is not without fail.

I am so glad that I have such a creative and fun brother. I am so glad that I have friends and family here.

No one will know that we are there! Brilliant! I want to tell mama. I can’t. I have a feeling that she won’t approve.

I will be able to view my kingdom as a normal person. How delightful and I am sure it is going to be incredible !
Auvoir til then!

Stay tuned for more drama and a few more times I didn’t know we’re going to be recorded for history. .. and I meet a masked man who is tres cute! Who is the mysterious and handsome stranger? Find out next time….

Hint :

my Momma and my Mops .

@MarieAntoine1792 wrote :

This morning, I was really tired and cold in the bathtub- freezing really – and naked – and just as I was thinking that the 180 year old countess is about to hand my shift to me then this princess walked in so we had to start over . I guess I made a noise in disgust and got a severe pinch from some other lady who was in line to hand me something and by then it was really cold and I was really DONE.

I’m sorry but when you have a entourage of women trying to dress you accordingly by title and then a higher level of random rank decides to join in , you’re not in a good mood . You know? You try it. I think I handle it pretty well .


Song Lyric Sunday:Summer Skin


It seems natural to me that I would write about music. I come from a line of excellent musicians. However, I found it very challenging. How do you describe the way certain chords embrace a set of letters that form the words and combine them all to make a melody ? I’m going to say that to me music is the cursive form of a chalkboard letter . Lyrics by themselves to me are not always so good they can stand alone and I’m always looking for something that  hits me hard . Right in the solar plexus where it just misses the painful-and -sends me to a perfect place. For me, that place is where the bliss of longing meets the sweet sting of sorrow.

Like the end of summer … a painfully poignant dose of maturity, offered up with the coming of fall. I’m flushed with sunburn, mismatched tan lines and the instant beauty that’s earned by the knowledge that I would wake up to realize that it was a dream. There’s a certain sadness in that picture of perfect happiness in late August. The waves seem to hear my thoughts that we are never going to have that feeling again. As the tides are washing me out to sea, I have to leave my summer skins for the ones I want to forget.

I chose a song by the artists Death Cab For Cutie, a band from Bellingham,Washington. The song “Summer Skin” embodies the warm lusty air before the cold ,dehabilitating front. Written by Benjamin Gibbard, the frontman for DCFC. Ben seems to have the right words for the right time in the right place. The gift of the true artist. I’m going to guess you have a few memories of the salt and sun and freckles that are our summer skins.

It’s, if we are honest, the First and Last love .

Squeaky swings and tall grass
The longest shadows ever cast
The waters warm and children swim
We frolicked about in our summer skin

I don't recall a single care
Just greenery and humid air
Then Labor Day came and went
And we shed what was left of our summer skin

On the night you left I came over
And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders
Our brand new coats so flushed and pink
And I knew your heart I couldn't win
Cause the seasons change was a conduit
And we'd left our love in our summer skin


Lyrics © Sony/ATV Musi