Basic AF horoscope

As we creep nearer to the month of October, it’s time to get those skeletons out of the closet and practice our cackle. Halloween is coming. I love Halloween, Not only for the true history of this magical night but the Americanized way we do it. I know it’s a little early but no time like the present, right? Also, my daughter keeps suggesting that I do funny horoscopes. So with this in mind, I’m ready to reveal a puzzling truth .It’s the one day that I can let the black cat out of the bag. What’s this, you ask? Calm down and breathe deeply, for I am going to tell you a secret about me that no one knows.

I am really a VIRGO.

It’s true. My birthday says Libra, but my real sign says, Virgo. My daughter is the one who pointed this out. She, in fact, was convinced of it Her reasoning was sound and she offered up the proof.

Enter exhibit A:

Jenna Marbles is immediately filling the television screen. I knew the similarities in our personalities wasn’t because I’m from Rochester, New York. Since I’m not a you-tuber either, I guess it’s because I’m a comedian. My sweet girl kindly tells me that’s not it. In the episode that is playing, it hits me. It’s because we are both blondes. Still no. My daughter is practicing for her career as a prosecutor and here is her burden of proof. Jenna and I are both really intense, particular and (maybe ) a little crazy. In a fun way, not a serial killers way. As soon as you can say October, it’s clear to me that my entire existence has been a lie.

I don’t want to discredit the many people who believe in astrology and I don’t want to offend the scales of libra justice but someone’s stars got crossed. I needed answers. In the study of astrology, I am no expert. I’m not even a novice. So I decided to find out how this grave mistake was made.

So like any seasoned scholar, I googled it.

Convinced that I must be on the cusp, I learn that I am not on the cusp, cliff or edge of Virgo-city. I am indeed a Libra. I am really surprised. Surprised that I am interested in more research on this fascinating subject.

This morning, I decided to delve deeper. I was not prepared for what I learned. As a skeptic, I’m not going to be easy to sway so the sun signs needed to up their game. Google took me to where I actually read through the September horoscopes blindly and then picked out the one that most applied to my life right now. Not really, I didn’t need the confusion of “What if I am really a …Scorpio?” Coincidence or not, I will admit to being amazed at what it said for the month of September. Because it was dead on the mark and completely relevant to me at this time. I would say ”thank my lucky stars ” but I won’t.

As it turns out, I didn’t need to worry. I really am a Libra, after all.

It’s a huge relief. I felt like the equilibrium of my life force was restored and I was….still confused.

As I’m wrapping up this post I stumble across this balance shifting news. Astrostyle refers me to Vedic (or Hindu astrology )and guesses what? According to the Vedic Birth Chart, I am a VIRGO. Facepalm. Here we go again.

It’s obvious that more research is needed for my study. As I have been doing the whole of my existence, I’ll procrastinate while taking this with a grain of salt. Thrown over my left shoulder. It’s time to get in the spirit of the season, after all.

Published by amylasater

And like a celebrity, I'm just like everyone else... I hope my readers will find my blog relatable to the idiosyncrasies , craziness and flaws that we all have. If you are perfect, I'm sorry and congratulations .This might not be the feeble attempt at a blog for you .PLEASE email me and give me your secret. It will save me a lot writing . I just read a piece about how my authors “ about me “page is probably boring everyone to death. I have always had a lot to say but my first claim to fame was in Eighth grade when one of my teachers read a story I had written to the class. I don’t remember what exactly it was about but the first sentence was “Coma. Unconscious. “. You see where I am going with this. My classmates were in awe. I was an instant star and most likely to write a book . And yet , here I am : boring you to death without a best seller . I need to change that.

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